A Loss Observed

            By the time Samantha Peters opened her eyes to the blinding daylight pouring into her cramped but comfortable bedroom the snooze button on her bedside alarm clock had given up.  Whether she had unconsciously turned it off or it reached its requisite limit of attempts to rouse her didn’t matter at this point.  What did matter was that she would be late for work.  Again.

            For the past two months, the basic routines of life had been a struggle for her.  Derrick’s abrupt departure from her life had been more traumatic than she had ever imagined.  Samantha had always prided herself on being a strong and independent woman, but lately everything was a challenge for her, and she was beginning to think that Derrick’s absence left a larger hole in her life than she cared to admit.  At this moment, summoning the will to move her body and rise from the sheets was the task at hand.

            Thankfully, she wasn’t totally alone.  The moisture of Avon’s warm breath on her cheek arrived a split second before his sloppy tongue did, and she giggled in response to the mutt’s endearing love.  Avon Barksdale was the lone remnant from her relationship with Derrick.  They found him on a Sunday, nearly a year ago, at the humane society, malnourished and weak, and immediately fell in love with him.  They named him after the maliciously charming character from The Wire, which Samantha and Derrick watched avidly together and would discuss at length after each episode.  Memories such as these were the most difficult to let go of, but Samantha refused to be paralyzed by sadness and regret and deliberately swung her legs over the bed to the floor below.

            “Mother f-!!” 

            Samantha’s right foot landed on the dried bone left by Avon and the searing pain brought immediate tears to her eyes and an uncharacteristically caustic response to her lips.

            She stepped gingerly to the bathroom, turned on the shower, and began the process of preparing herself for another day.

__

            There was something about the look of black coffee being poured into a thick ceramic mug that seemed reassuring.  Having called the shop to say she would be late – again – bought Samantha some time, so she chose to turn on the TV and not sweat the rush to leave.  Comedy Central was serendipitously replaying the previous night’s Colbert Report.

            ''And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion -- be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior…”

            She snickered as Stephen Colbert received a similar response from his audience.  Having been brought up in a fervent evangelical home, Samantha resonated with the comedian’s dig at modern Christianity.   She enjoyed the brief respite of humor and the warmth that the coffee seemed to bring to her entire body.  It would be a good buffer from the deceptively frigid Chicago morning.

            Samantha turned off the TV, tossed the remote on the couch, and began to don her layers of protection against the arctic blast she would soon face.  She slung her bag over her shoulder then reached down to lovingly rub Avon’s chin.  As she stood erect, she looked over her barren apartment and emitted a deep, vacuous sigh.  She tugged the door shut, all the while picturing Derrick in warm southern California, hoping he was alone too.